You are currently browsing the Nepali Jokes blog archives for October, 2011


Clinical test

Hum Jayega and a man were sitting outside a clinic. The the man was very sad and was crying.

Hum Jayega asked, “Why are you crying?”

The man replied, “I came here for blood test.”

Hum Jayega asked,” So, Are you afraid?”

The man replied, “No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger.”

Hearing this Hum Jayega started crying. The man was astonished and asked Hum Jayega, “Why are you crying?”

Hum Jayega replied, “I have come for my urine test.”

Bidhita Rai – the granddaughter of Hum Jayega

Bidhita, the "Naughty little girl" of Hum Jayega has established herself has a media personality. He used to read news in Kantipur Television during the 2008s and is currently living in the UK. Bidhita explains herself:

A happy-go-lucky person is how I prefer to describe myself ! God has been kind to me and life has been a smooth journey…and it will continue to remain as such. (I am an optimist and I know how to turn negative into positive…just in case…)

She says that didn’t inherit the funny bones of Hum Jayega but, she feels proud to be related so closely to one of the greatest joke teller in Nepali language.  Proud to be hailing from Nepal, a land that proudly possesses the tallest mountain of the world, the Mount Everest, she binds herself with the Nepali culture and tradition.

bidhita_rai

She started her university as a Chemistry student, but ended up working in unimaginable job – as a media person. Interviewing people, writing stories, taking pictures, making documentaries for TV and radio and designing websites was something she never imagined she would be doing in her life. Yet, to her surprise and a matter of proudness, she has established herself as a multimedia journalist. A strong believer of destiny, Bidhiti believes her destiny has driven her into doing things I never occurred of even in her wildest dreams.

Hum_Jayega's_Naughty_girl

If you are interested to learn more about the beautiful Bidhita, you can read more in her own blog and her personal page in the company she works.

KTV_news_readerktv_bidhita_

Where does God Live?

Once a teacher was teaching moral science.
The teacher asked Hum Jayega’s son,”Son, do you know where god lives?”

Hum Jayega’s son replied, “He lives in our bathroom.”

Dismayed the teacher asked, “What makes you say that?”

Student replied: “Because every morning my father bangs the bathroom door and shouts “Oh my god you are still there.”

Saving a drowing kid

Some children were playing near a pond. Suddenly one of them slipped into the water. Other children started shouting and people nearby gathered around the place. But none among them could be bold enough to get into the water to save the drowning boy.

After a few moments, everybody saw Hum Jayega  jump into the water. The crowd was excited to see Hum Jayega saving the little boy from drowning.

The boy’s father thanked Hum Jayega for his bravery and said, “You deserve a prize for your courage and boldness?”

Hum Jayega said, “First tell me, who pushed me in to the water from behind?”

Crocodile boots

Crocodile boots

Hum Jayega proposed a woman, “Will you marry me?”

She said, “yes, only if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.”

Hum Jayega sets off to Africa and disappeared. Finally a search is being made, they found him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.

He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims, “71st and again barefoot!

Ghanta Physics tutorial

A truly “can happen only in India…”

These guys can even teach Physics to a Rickshaw driver!

Physics tutorials

Can happen only in Darjeeling…

OK, these facts weren’t told by Humjayaga. But, that doesn’t mean they are less funnier. If you live in Darjeeling you would really see how true these facts are:

Only in Darjeeling…
…people sit in dense fog and watch an entire soccer match, not knowing what the hell is going on in the field

Only in Darjeeling…
…people go to buy laangshyaa and end up watching carom for hours

Only in Darjeeling…
…do you walk through the town once, and meet the same people ten times

Only in Darjeeling…
…do doodhwalas sell milk with less fat than skim milk

Only in Darjeeling….
…do the unemployed dress up better than the employed

Only in Darjeeling…
…the best dishes on the menu in any restaurant are thukpa and momo

Only in Darjeeling…
…do you find distance in Kilometers and places in Miles….Cha mile, Dus mile, Baarah mile

Only in Darjeeling…
…can you jump off a train…take a leak.. and catch the train again…

Only in Darjeeling…
…the prettiest girl always eloped with a driver

Only in Darjeeling…
…Boys carry two different love letters in their back pockets. Nepali and English written

Only in Darjeeling…
…Mann mann mai love mann mann mai break

Only in Darjeeling…
…a train gets caught in a traffic jam

Only in Darjeeling…
…do you go to sleep with a bottle of hot water for warmth in winter….and wake up in the morning and ‘daant moluus” with the same water

Only in Darjeeling….
…can two guys watch a movie with one ticket, half-seat, third class

Only in Darjeeling…
…the last place to find coolies is at the railway station

Only in Darjeeling…
…people park their cars on their rooftops

Only in Darjeeling…
…the shortest people carry the largest umbrellas

Only in Darjeeling…
…drivers drive their car from Ghoom till Darjeeling town in NEUTRAL and have the balls to charge each passenger for at least Rs.10 and still show an unsatisfied face.

Only in Darjeeling…
…In the internet cafes, they charge you from the time you step into the cafe, start the computer, restart, reboot, connection problems, page hanged, wire come-off due to too much kicking out of frustrations below the table, and log out paying 30 bucks for an hour when you don’t even get to see your own picture on facebook.

Only in Darjeeling…
…You are updated with every local news; local love stories, elopes and true loves, latest songs and gossips in a single trip from Darjeeling to Siliguri.


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